Worst speed dating lines

I don’t really drink much, and I don’t really have a problem with it, and I didn’t really know the girl very well, and I didn’t want to be there.

While I am sure it was great for her, it was just not where I expected to be on a first date.

• I can’t even begin to rehash the details, but the guy drove a Cougar as if it were a Ferrari, had a facial twitch that I’m pretty sure can be seen from space, had favorite hobbies along the lines of watching History channel documentaries, and disapproved of my eating of croutons in my salad. • I went on a date with an otherwise cute girl who wore a “Trogdor the Burninator” shirt and said at least one 4chan meme to me, unprompted, out loud. Girl randomly started replying and cursing at my tweets.

• I once went out with someone who, within an hour of meeting me, told me that his ultimate fantasy was to date a replicant. • This guy commutes to the city from Connecticut, which I never really get (why not just live in New York? I suggested that he must really treasure his vegetable garden or something in order to put up with 2.5 hours/day on Metro- North. He called me a hippie for growing my own vegetables.

He told me that when he bought his house, he hired a landscaper to tear everything out and replace it with gravel. • My dates “catch phrase” was a quote from Seinfeld. When we meet, I start to talk about Seinfeld and he tells me he doesn’t watch tv and doesn’t even own one.

• A young woman and I got along pretty well in the bar where we’d agreed to meet, but things went downhill when we decided to get dinner at a nearby restaurant.

He was ten minutes late, which in and of itself wouldn’t have been a problem. He snorted dismissively and said “Don’t you think that’s a little self- absorbed? You think there’s a chance I’ve never heard of Wes Anderson?

It was about killing unicorns (and no he was not being ironic). Captain Pretentious • Dude talked for several hours nonstop about his multi-discipline art project, which was based solely on an experience his father had 40 years ago.

I kept making, “oh that’s nice,” “okay,” sort of comments and he just kept singing louder and louder. When I got home, I had an e-mail from him saying that we didn’t have any “chemistry.” Chemistry, really? It was the only thing he talked about, no exaggeration, for 70% of the date.

She would then fill the little remaining crust-boat with olive oil, take a bite from it, and refill it. It reminded me of that, which might say more about me as lousy digital dater than her.

• We agreed to meet at a bar even though he didn’t drink (when I asked if he went to meetings instead, he was silent).

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